Hello, I'm new here and I'd love to get professional opinions and or clarification's if possible.

My "ex" and I had been together for almost 7 years and always had our ups and downs. At the begging of our relationship she would receive random text's and calls at late times from a person. She had been "dating" prior. She would respond and always claimed to not be talking about anything inappropriate but would try her hardest to keep the communication with him from me. We got past it and she stopped but every time I would leave the house and break up with her she would go right back at it and I would leave because she'd kick me out due to me flirting with other women. She then changed her number for me and never called him or text him anymore but would look for him without communicating through social media every time the same thing occured which was always every 2 years. We then went on to do great for another 2 years and got engaged and we were very happy till I started flirting with other women and I called off the wedding about 8k into it and just about 6 months prior to the wedding. She tried to work it out with me but I made the biggest mistake in not putting in my part so then I left the house.. by this time that "guy" had been dead for about 3 years and we don't know how or why. She tried getting back with me for the first 2 weeks after the break up then about 1 month later I find myself changing and asking God for help and seeking therapy which we start this week. I stopped all communication with that "woman" and delete my fb account and change my number as well as started to change willingly. So 3 weeks not dating which is now. She told me she hasn't dated and never met or flirted with anyone although she got too drunk with her cousins at a bar and exchanged numbers with 1 guy and the night I left she went out with her younger brother which turned 21 and found 2 old high school friends which they exchanged numbers she said. She said she never did anything with anyone of them or anyone else. So today is Monday and on Friday night I asked to see her phone and I read some messages with her cousins about that night they went out and I read her saying she regrets kissing the 21 year old and wishes to never have it mentioned. I questioned her and she admitted and said that was all that ever happened and that she was drunk but couldn't justify herself and wanted to get back at me. So I was mad then got over it after a few questions and thinking about it. Then on Sunday I changed my number and I texted her flirting like one of the "friends would and all she asked was who is this and she never replied again and I called her in which she answered and then I immediately hung up. Then I called her private and told her I was outside because we were gonna hang out. She came out and all was normal, I asked her as I've been the past days if any of them guys has tried contacting her or if any guy or person at all and she said no every time then. I admitted it was me and she said she didn't wanna tell me because she didn't want any problems between us. I then talked to her again about communication and trust and we need to be open and asked many times if there's anything else I should know in which she said no. Then I asked her again and I said that it's important to be honest so we can get past this and I would forgive her and she stayed quiet for about 1 or 2 minutes then said no then. I asked her the same thing again and reminded her about our relationship and communication, trust and forgiveness as well as told her that I believe she is lying because she paused then she admitted to sleeping with one of the "friends" 2 weeks after because he kept bothering her about taking her out. She said she regrets it because it's not like her and that she felt guilty and dirty then I asked her if it was also because she loved me in which she said yes. After that she gave me full detail and it turned me on at the same time made me angry, sad, anxious and shaky. I started touching her and she got really excited and I kept asking her about it and she said she didn't give him oral and did enjoy the thrill but didn't have an orgasm. I asked if she liked the actual sex and said no because he didn't make her orgasm all while us fondling each other sexually. I also asked if she wanted him again and said yes but only because of the thrill and to do a better job herself instead of just laying there all for her ego and self esteem. She even said she didn't go out with him again because she regret it but she had considered it and said she eventually would've and also as soon as she got home she played with herself thinking of what happened. As we were having sex we were talking about it and she said she does want to have sex with him again and and only if I give her permission to do so. I then told her if she moans his name I would and she refused until right after she had an orgasm she moaned it as I kept telling her to repeat it. Since then, I've been asking her about it and says she regrets it but would've eventually done so for her self esteem and ego and would've probably give him oral. I asked her more about it and told me she also wanted him to later say " wow, she did a good job" but not because she liked him and said he's not the type she's into for a relationship. She also said she felt better now that I know because she felt guilty and didnt tell me in fear of loosing me. She also says that she hasn't had the idea of doing it with him again since I came back to her life. Note that this exact stuff is what I had been trying to get her to do and never did till now and we had talked about it for 3 years. She also says that she likes the attention from the guys because it makes her feel sexy knowing they want her but can't have her. I find myself ok and horn when I think aboutnit at the same time I feel like she doesn't love me and insecure about myself although she's trying to make things work now with me again and we've been dating. Any input is greatly appreciated.