It's occurred to me that an ongoing problem is that I always perceive these kinds of power differentials in friendships. With one old friend of mine we hardly see each other because I now expect her to make as much of an effort to meet with me (and make arrangements) and express interest in doing so. She has attention issues and stuff so that may be why she does not do it, but I got to the point where I wasn't ok with putting in 80% of the work. So now we hardly see each other.

With another friend I always feel like one of us is acting more interested in making arrangements, etc, than the other. I feel bad when she is more energetic about it, like I am the 'powerful' one and I don't want to be. I am more comfortable when its the other way, but I guess it alternates so it seems ok...

Do others have these hang-ups? Also, how much of this is just in my head?