Another thing I am going to end my friendship with my only friend.She turned out to be half supportive and half abusive,over this thing with my sister,she used to listen to me tell my story before but whenever I got upset or emotional didn't attempt to offer emotional support.When she came round and I told her my sister was letting herself in to undo all the tidying I'd done,she started commenting on a corner of the room that was a mess,sarcastically saying how tidy it was and on another corner too saying it was de-cluttered,cos something I moved from there had been put back..

Then I didn't say anything except it's not tidy it is a mess.But I noticed a mocking sort of you are the stupidest person I've ever met tone in her voice and I let it go.

I paid her that day to take things to the charity shop for me and gave her some fruit I had started a new diet and wasn't eating fruit.

Anyway it bothered me she might be abusive so I texted her and said why didn't you just say that corner was tidy and now its a mess cos my sister took the bench cover out of the cupboard and put it back there where I kept it and and made it untidy.I sid it hurt me her sarcasm.

She texted back I wasn't being sarcastic I was really thinking the corner looked tidy.I am furious,abusive people deny your perceptions I know that.So I can't trust her though I've known her three years so I know she can be a bit of a sarcy cow but to go full on and take me for a complete fool.No way.

I told her her answer was ******** I am angry at her response and that is a dealbreaker for me denying my perceptions.

So that means I am back at square one,like,a year and half ago,alone in the world without a single friend.I am hoping there are lots of friends out there that I haven't met yet.I am emotionally quite low and I am very depressed,I haven't felt this bad in a long time not in over a year,I thought I'd never be back in this place with my narc sis being able to enter my house and sabotage my attempts to have it tidy but here I am as though I had never cut her out of my life.

At least I didn't enter the same room as her for the last year and a half yet she still was able to cause me emotional and psychological damage.

I had an assessment with victim support today,they are able to offer me emotional support,so I will hear from them next week.And my nurse from when I was under the Mental Health Team is visiting me friday.I am meeting my niece thursday but I am wondering if she still loves me?She says she does,it feels like no one loves me and that I don't love myself,but I am going to start loving me and looking after myself better.I got a lot of things wrong in the last year and half and I wasn't putting myself first.