Control- I can't emphasize how important control is in anything that you do, because it helps safety, confidence, less anxious, help with power. Establish a conversation so that control it will be gained sooner or later. Tell them, break from the confrontation word can be a little negative . Are you issuing an ultimatum? Is there imminent danger? When there is no control it can move to learned helplessness people pleasing , and like you said you need to be respected. If that doesn't happen then you have to remove yourself from toxic people and set clear boundaries that you can follow most times