i nded up getting really involved in the thoughts, and actually becoming really suicidal over it... it was just really painfull- you know, never meeting my father, my mother's in another country glad i'm out of her life, and i'm here alone wondering.. well if i can't talk to my family, who can i talk to- does anyone actually care?. anyone?

i ended up with all the voices in my head talking and feeling really desperate.. ugg it was so horrible- it got worse after that, and i may post it in the daily check in thread