My famous last words, "Just one more thing..." and that's usually the one little thing that pushes it too far. I never know when I shut up.

I'm learning to control it, some, but I slip up a lot. It's a constant effort not to blurt out crazy **** and blabber on and on about something. I've always been a talker, but combine that with a little nervous adrenaline and it scares people.

I worry that they think I might be like a crazy stalker-type, because I'm intense and I talk fast and I'm nervous and I get really excited when i have something in common with someone.

But in reality, I'm like hey, if I'm scaring you that bad or if you just don't want to hang out, fine by me. I will always go away. Sometimes even too soon. I think, "Well, now I've ****ed it all up, time to just go away."

So why though when I decide to give it "one last shot" rather than walk away, I seem to always **** up that one last attempt at showing you I'm safe, just out of it. Or something like that. I **** that up and then that is when I really go away for good.

It's a cycle in my life. I get too excited and I scare them away or I scare myself away or something.