Quote:
Originally Posted by CriesAndGoodbyes
BudFox - Yeah, seduction is a word that really came to mind when I thought of the way my therapist interacted with me as well. It really did strike me as so seductive and suggestive... but I guess I was wrong... or so he implied.... he didn't tell me outright that he didn't like me... but he took the more diplomatic approach of telling me that he makes a pact with himself not to see female patients that way... I am really glad his let down was fairly gentle. When I use the word sadistic to describe my therapy, I only mean it because he still does things that makes me think he likes me and therefore it feels a bit like torture. All unintentional, I am sure.
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I dunno, seems to me if it feels seductive, it
is seductive, regardless of the rationalizations offered by the therapist. I think what some therapists are missing or have forgotten is that the basic arrangement of therapy is seductive. They are (or appear to be) empathic, understanding, selfless, etc. They make direct eye contact. They listen to your problems and pain. It's intimate, just the two of you. If the therapist adds to that by doing something that is even vaguely seductive in a more concrete way, not hard to imagine the effect.
As for unintentional, I would not assume a therapist necessarily has enough self awareness to know what sort of subtle messages they are sending, or how their normal therapist persona is being perceived by clients. It's easy to pin it all on client transference. Not so easy to acknowledge that they might be fueling the fire.