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Originally Posted by TwistedHell
I'm so confused, so basically my husband was arrested for some pretty horrible and disgusting stuff, which i called the police to come and get his computers, I was in tears for days i posted numerous times here about what was going on and my disgust and shock, yesterday he was released on a promise to appear and although he is to have no contact with anyone in my family so i haven't been able to confront him myself (which is something i need to do) I have been speaking regularly with his mother he doesn't tell her to tell me anything but she has repeated much of what he has said. I'm confused by it first he is going to plead guilty to avoid more pain being placed on us. second he told her he would agree to any type of counseling i wanted and has already agreed to get help because he's hoping i can forgive him and third he said he'd try for as long as it took for me to trust him again..even if i never can.. i'm so confused...I really want to forgive even tho it's unforgivable, i have two settings forgiving or holding on to a complete hatred, and i hate hating people.
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One thing you should ask him - does he only want to get help to make you feel better or does he want to get better so he feels better about the person he is (not just how he has caused you to feel).. Because the truth is, unless he wants it for himself he will unwittingly sabotage his counseling.