Hello all. I'm in my 20s & I live with my grandmother and my mother. I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (one of the perpetrators is my grandmother; I was 5 when it happened) and my mother knows this, yet is in denial about it.

I spoke to my mom and told her that I really wanted to come out to my grandmother because I wanted to be myself in my own home. My mom was really hesitant, but then she said that she would think about it and figure out how to tell her and when the time was right. I told her to come back to me and let me know when a good time would be to tell my grandmother.

This past Sunday, she suddenly comes in my room and says, "It's time to confront your grandma. I told her you're gay". This was NOT what I was expecting.

I went to talk to my grandma and she looked like she was going to faint. She couldn't even look me in the eye and she said, "I have to say, I'm disappointed". So I said, "I'm still the same person I've always been", and just went back to my room.

A couple of hours later, my mom comes in my room and says, "You got what you wanted. How do you feel?" I told her she completely misunderstood what I said and that I wanted to be the one to tell my grandmother. She got defensive and said, "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know. So what? Is that another problem for you?" I just said no, and changed the subject. Then she said, "Your grandma said that she had a feeling you were gay and she feels bad for saying so many homophobic things over the years". If she had an idea I was gay, why didn't she just stop making homophobic comments?

Today, my mother comes in my room and says, "Your grandmother said that she'll accept you because you're her grandchild and she feels bad". I said, "She's saying all of this to you. Why isn't she saying this to me? She hasn't been making any effort to talk to me since this happened". My mom gets mad and says, "You get angry so quickly. You have to meet her halfway. She's from a different generation". I said, "I'm sorry if I'm having a hard time getting close to my grandmother, the same woman who has made homophobic comments for over 10 years now, since she had a feeling I was gay". My mom got angry at that.

Should I not be mad at all of this? I feel like there are so many things wrong with this. My mom randomly telling my grandma I'm gay without giving me any warning because she said, "The holy spirit told me it was time to tell her". My mom is in denial of my abuse at the hands of my grandmother, my grandmother has been abusive to me in other ways. So why does it seem like I have to suck everything up and appease to her? Why is it that I never have a voice in this house? Since I was a child and abused, I've been taught that I don't have a voice and I'm tired of that.

Am I overreacting? What do you guys think? Any advice? Thanks a lot.