<font color="purple"> Well, today is Monday....the day I'm supposed to start my volunteer work at our local food bank.

And here I am.....sitting at my computer.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't get up the nerve to walk out my door and head on over there.

I just couldn't handle the scaredness within me.

So I sent them an email and stated that I was busy this week.....leaving the door open for me next week....but I'm pretty darn sure I'll have to back out again next week.

And the only reason I made it over to the food bank last week, to honor my appointment there, was because my daughter was out of school and came with me.

And now, today, I can't go over there by myself.

I am so disappointed in myself.

I'm such a wreckage of my old self.

My meds prevent me from feeling suicidal, but I'm telling you....it's times like this that I wish I would quit the meds so that I can follow through with my impulses. There really is not much use for me around here.

I'm so disappointed in myself. What the heck do I do with my life now??

(Sorry for the "down" post. I don't mean to dump on you.)

Sandy

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