hey.. welcome to psych central forums ! look around you may find very helpful or interesting posts.

im not sure how to answer your post but since youre seeing a therapist be honest with him and tell him what you told us. they can and will help you, perhaps start a medication.. i and others here have been hospitalised, maybe it could help you too. its not as scary as it sounds, once you get used to it you can find people who really want to help you. take care and try not to hurt yourself