so now I am coming closer to the end....I will be 85 yo in august...what a struggle with my mental illness...it wasn't pretty....but I have had a much better time since my last breakdown in 1973-77 than I ever thought possible...at that time I thought it was over...I wanted to die...it has been hard but I DO NOT WANT to die now...even tho the world is a mess and I am a mess I still want to live...I must have some hope...life is something else