Maybe the following will help you get clarity about using.
From Narcotics Anonymous.
https://www.na.org/?ID=ips-an-an-IP7
Quote:
The following questions were written by recovering addicts in Narcotics Anonymous. If you have doubts about whether or not you’re an addict, take a few moments to read the questions below and answer them as honestly as you can.
1. Do you ever use alone? [Yes] [ No]
2. Have you ever substituted one drug for another, thinking that one particular drug was the problem? [Yes] [ No]
3. Have you ever manipulated or lied to a doctor to obtain prescription drugs? [Yes] [ No]
4. Have you ever stolen drugs or stolen to obtain drugs? [Yes] [ No]
5. Do you regularly use a drug when you wake up or when you go to bed? [Yes] [ No]
6. Have you ever taken one drug to overcome the effects of another? [Yes] [ No]
7. Do you avoid people or places that do not approve of you using drugs? [Yes] [ No]
8. Have you ever used a drug without knowing what it was or what it would do to you? [Yes] [ No]
9. Has your job or school performance ever suffered from the effects of your drug use? [Yes] [ No]
10. Have you ever been arrested as a result of using drugs? [Yes] [ No]
11. Have you ever lied about what or how much you use? [Yes] [ No]
12. Do you put the purchase of drugs ahead of your financial responsibilities? [Yes] [ No]
13. Have you ever tried to stop or control your using? [Yes] [ No]
14. Have you ever been in a jail, hospital or drug rehabilitation centre because of your using? [Yes] [ No]
15. Does using interfere with your sleeping or eating? [Yes] [ No]
16. Does the thought of running out of drugs terrify you? [Yes] [ No]
17. Do you feel it is impossible for you to live without drugs? [Yes] [ No]
18. Do you ever question your own sanity? [Yes] [ No]
19. Is your drug use making life at home unhappy? [Yes] [ No]
20. Have you ever thought you couldn’t fit in or have a good time without drugs? [Yes] [ No]
21. Have you ever felt defensive, guilty or ashamed about your using? [Yes] [ No]
22. Do you think a lot about drugs? [Yes] [ No]
23. Have you had irrational or indefinable fears? [Yes] [ No]
24. Has using affected your sexual relationship? [Yes] [ No]
25. Have you ever taken drugs you didn’t prefer? [Yes] [ No]
26. Have you ever used drugs because of emotional pain or stress? [Yes] [ No]
27. Have you ever overdosed on any drugs? [Yes] [ No]
28. Do you continue to use despite negative consequences? [Yes] [ No]
29. Do you think that you have a drug problem? [Yes] [ No]
“Am I an addict?” This is a question only you can answer.
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