I have texted you wayyyy too much. Way tooo much. I apologize. I'm apologizing here because you don't accept my apologies anymore. I hate it when you go away like this. You're still here and I know you think about me. In fact you accidentally dialed me while in a session today. Meaning my number and/or contact was pulled up or easily accessible I was waiting to hear you talk so I could hear your voice, but your client was a talkative one, I couldn't understand what was being said but felt horrible listening so after 1.5 seconds I hung up. 1.5 seconds is quite surprisingly a long time. I'm tired of crying. Random bursts of tears. Tiny panic tremors at certain things. I wish you'd respond or acknowledge me. Is this part of therapy when a client is a thread away from I should stop needing you. I should stop writing you. I should stop texting you. Because when you back away like this because you can't contain your feelings about me it hurts me. I don't know how to deal with it. I don't understand. Please don't abandon me today.