I did not have this problem when I was married. I have been divorced for over two years (and separated for almost 3 years before that). But over the past several months, I have been waking up in the middle of the night so aroused and I need to masturbate (at least once a night). Then I awake every morning aroused and usually masturbate again. I have no idea why this is happening. I do not sleep through it, as you seem to describe. So I imagine this must be challenging. I, like you. often feel guilty afterward. I am having extremely explicit sexual dreams, only some of which I can remember. I have never been abused or had any trauma sexually. I go back and forth between just loving being so horny and enjoying exploring my body to feeling very guilty, like "I shouldn't be doing this" and certainly not that often. Maybe I need some counseling, but part of me loves the thrill of being so aroused and pleasuring myself and I am not sure I want to give it up. For the most part, this does not seem to be interfering with my life, but since you are in a relationship, I can see that would be much more challenging. I wish you luck. Keep posting and let us know if you find anything that helps.