I never looked for relationships, in fact between my first relationship ending I was very happy being single, I kind of find myself in relationships even after trying to be single, I figured at the time there is something about single females being happy in being single that leads guy to want try hard to be in a relationship with them, i was happy and confident after I kicked the first one out for the many things he did, for a few months i denied every guy who asked me out, (well I said sure but told them I'm not dating them, i'll go out casually nothing more) I even said that to my husband but he stuck around as "friends" for longer then any of the others who were hoping I'd change my mind, and then one day I realized that I was completely unaware that we were kinda in a relationship (my reaction was like "Oh S*** how did this happen" so I figured might as well make it official). i still feel like there is something wrong with me but thank you for all the words.