I saw a therapist for 8 years. She literally knew me better than myself sometimes. Last fall, I had experienced some deeply concerning suicidal thinking and she got me to agree to go to the ER. After 2 1/2 days there, the social worker got me a referral to a DBT program. When I got established in one, I was told I couldn't see her while in the program. Before the program ended, I realized i wouldn't be back to see her. I had developed some deep emotions towards her and felt love from her that I could never get anywhere else. It's been 7 months since I've seen her and I still miss her very much. There were things about the relationship that weren't the healthiest but overall, I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her. I can't go back to her. I've changed too much. I just wish we could have had a friendship outside of the office. I just don't know how to let her go-even though I know it really was for the best.