I second the therapy thing. Therapy will do wonders if you are not already there. I'm sorry but the abusive husband/boyfriend with a questionable history may need to be reconsidered. You should not be someone's punching bag. It isn't right. So I hope the best for you. Try thinking of the way you are thinking of yourself as somebody at a bar, what would you say to them? probably take it easy? So please go easy on yourself, you deal with enough as it is.,