So this is how my 'attacks' got programmed.

We set up that I am waiting for him to give me what I want. What that is, is for him to show his love in a way that makes me feel loved.

I have narrowed it down and verbalized it, as I described above. Believe me, he knows exactly what I am wanting him to do.

If he doesn't do it, I go ballistic. I have emotional tantrums so bad I call them 'attacks'. They really are attacks. It comes over me like I've described in real time, while they were happening on here.

Yet still, knowing what his inaction causes, he won't deliver.

It's gas lighting.