I am annoyed at myself for having less control than I do. I have stuff that needs to get done - study stuff and work stuff - and I am way, way behind in both because of our increased dissociation lately. Inside is screaming out for stuff to get dealt with but I don't have time. I can't deal with that right now. I have to get this outside stuff done.
I have an inside kid tantrumming, stomping her feet and saying "uh uh, I ain't gonna do it." And she is wreaking havoc, activating some really old and destructive coping mechanisms.
Go away already! I haven't got time for that! ****!
She says its because I don't believe her.
She's right. I don't.