(((Mouse)))

I really do understand the "dirty" feelings. My grandmother used to tell me I was dirty when I was a little girl. Whenever I begin to beat myself up, T tells me I'm being a grandmother to myself. So, now are you being a headmistress to yourself? I'm not certain why we recreate these situations. It might have something to do with the fact that they are familiar, so we find comfort and security in the familiarity of the situation.
Unfortunately, kindness, safety and security are not familiar to us.

I know you and T are getting back after a long break. Do you not feel safe again yet in her office? Does it feel unfamiliar? Does the fantasy of bleeding create a familiar scene? Or, does it make T into the headmistress? Do you feel called to her office because you were bad?

Take gentle care.