Just checking in: Have you made any headway with this? Hope all is well with you. You did say you have been to three different therapists and nothing changed. Based on your narrative, you might want to search out a therapist who is more analytically/dynamically trained. Many therapists these days come from a more symptom focused, cognitive/behavioral/solution focused perspective rather than the former methods. Psychodynamics can provide insight if you participate and have the time and patience for it.