(((inAcorner))) you are not a sad pathetic person. ED's serve a function for us. they become familiar. they become us, we become them, they become habit, they actualy end up feeling safe though they are anything but safe. you are not alone in this and please don't blame yourself for wanting to back to the ED for comfort or coping or whatever it may be.... it's what you do with those thoughts and urges that counts. I believe in you and I hope you can believe in yourself enough to keep taking it step by step, day by day. do you have support hun??