way i look at it, which is probably bad way, as i am super bad influence...

why not? exhausting all other options... cashing out is not an option for me, i end up drunk and high, but alive, why not?
if it stops me from self harm, its better right?
i dont want to resort to anything, also just want a nice happy life, but i have to do what i know how to do till i get there, but cashing out is not an option....

but im a bad influence... unstable probably... but yeah... im alive....

stupid doctors...