My mixed states are difficult to budge but Zyprexa seems to help but I gain weight on it. I am in a bad one now and my pdoc has increased my Lithium, added Lamotrigine and Latuda and taken me off Saphris. He is trying very hard to help but my brain has it's own ideas. I guess it just needs time.

I am so sorry you are feeling so crap and have no pdoc near you at the moment. If it gets bad can you take yourself to ER to be assessed and hopefully given better meds? Maybe for now you can chew on benzos to keep yourself sane. Don't apologise for ranting you have a lot going on right now.