Note: I posted this in the work forum, and am not really getting replies.

It's at my local library. I love my library. Love it. I'm there all the time anyway, and feel like it's the perfect place to volunteer, in a sense. I have actually volunteered there on and off before.

I have a lot of anxiety about some of the clerks who work there though. They make me uncomfortable. One, is really gruff. The other ignores me completely (but luckily I don't have to work with this second one).

There ARE some people who are nice. Like the librarians and some of the other clerks. One is a guy, and I can see us becoming friends.

I'm worried that they don't like me (the clerks), and that they may talk about me negatively when I'm not there. Maybe they wonder why I don't have a job. Maybe they think they're better than me. I don't know. I do realize this is all in my head. I just get a weird feeling.

I worked at a library 10 years ago when I was just out of college. I thought it would be nice and peaceful. But my boss, supervisor, and the people who I was working with, were not nice to me. I was going through a LOT at the time. And I was young. I know i acted weird and awkward, and I know I was late a lot. Like 30 min late to 60 min late. And they never fired me. But I think they messed with me. A lot. Again, it was a really messed up time in my life. I ended up quitting a year after I got hired. I can't believe i was even there a year. Anyway, this is NOT the same library I volunteer at. But this was a traumatic experience for me, and while I love going to libraries still, I also have come to realize that i am triggered by volunteering at them.

Anyways, I feel very uncomfortable right now. I am at home. But I'm thinking of quitting. Even though I just started again.

Maybe I can just focus more on the nice people, and not engage much with the ones I am not comfortable with.