Lately besides the constant therapy and day programs and group and missionaries coming to bug me ive been thinking of ways to commit suicide but of course my parents have me now on lock down so i can't get away with much. I have no real reason to be unhappy i just realized i just am stuck in this vicious cycle of suicide and it's going to get me arrested or dead . mental hospitals don't do much for me they just feed my addiction to trying to hurt myself. Residential worked only they were unfair to me and some of the people were scum.i haven't tried ect don't think i will ever.tried pills though and they don't seem to work . As for therapy been in it and it has changed me through out the years but i am not better depression wise so i would say i am unsatisfied. I am hurting my family i want to go far away from them and everybody else and be alone though it would be lonely that is the only thing that would make me not want to kill myself. And i cant even do that cause everyone owns my life.damn i hate this[emoji22] [emoji35]

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