my mother says she sees a difference but nothing changes even when I don't take it. its just the fact is everyone thinks I'm clinically depressed when in fact I'm not. I can get tmyself out of my funks without any help only because sometimes I don't want to get out of it just yet because if I do, I'll have to deal with the shadow creatures I buried away and they aren't usually to happy because inusually just flood my brain woth noises or surround myaelf with people. i'm usually grabby because i want to make sure i'm still in the real world since i can get the immaterial world mixed with the material world very easily and lose my grip on reality, thus leading to my episodes, suicide attempts and hospital stays. I usually just self medicate so to speak in figurative terms to deal because my mother doesn't understand, my sister being a APN says I need to be locked away do I don't give mom anfly more grief, my brother doesn't know and he shouldn't because he has a life to focus on, so here I am suffering alone. sometimes I do just let the shadow creatures come like i did when i was younger so i wouldnt be alonr so I know what you mean on reliability and them always being there. I still remember all of there names and each of there colors, as well as temperaments.

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