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I'll answer the second question: blundering would imply being unable to do what you want to do, so my manias weren't blundering, just doing, denying there was a problem. Maybe the best advice I got was to not seek treatment. It made me accept treatment while staying cautious of the negative effects.
Do you think BP treatment has caused any negative effects for you, other than med side-effects?
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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