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I trust no one including myself if I have a sense, awareness, of self. I believe my body will fail me and that others fail me or it's no use talking, listening, interacting, because I'm aware of everything (anyway). People would only distract me.
But the self-transcending, completely selfless mania, appearing completely self-absorbed, eventually transforming into the fearing of losing oneself, body and mind, is the only full, pure mania.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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