I used to be in a really good therapy. Program but got switched to a terrible one at nineteen cause I kept getting admitted to the wrong hospital for suicide attempts so they switched my insurance then I could only go to a certain hospital and soon I got placed in a terrible therapy Program that doesn't even have. A neuropsychologist. For mental health diagnostic testing so I can find out my diagnosis. I've considered speaking to the suicide hotline using block.caller I'd cause I don't want them to know we're I live. But I have to figure out how to use it. I don't want to end up disabled from a suicide attempt but I don't know how to stop. I'm not sure it's a matter of trying to stop. Its a matter of having the will to stop.I've struggled with. This since I was fourteen and have found relief but my pain is much more. You've come a long way in life. But not everyone can reach the point you came some people. Fall and don't rise.I hope I'm not one of those people but nothing in life is gauruntee.I will try my best to think of life in a positive light next week and perhaps I'll change my mind about suicide though don't know

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