I find myself wanting to respond because my attempt is one of the most significant events in my life (though secondary to my marriage, birth of children, etc.). I had truly hit rock bottom. Only now I realize I had been depressed since 2009 (the attempt was in 2015). At the time, I was numb yet somewhat angry and truly felt like a failure. It landed me in the hospital (two operations, intensive care, etc.) for 20 days followed by five days in a mental institution! I have lots of issues with doubting the existence of god (still do), but once I became more cognizant that I had survived, I found myself thinking that the only way that I could still be here is that a higher power decided that it wasn't my time (I was supposed to live). I'm extremely lucky. My family was there and that was no small feat because some of my family lives far away from me.
The event truly changed my life. At the time, the depression had numbed my feelings so much that I did not feel at all scared when I did it and I actually believed my family would be better off without me. The event was so shocking, that I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and went to therapy for the first time. After more than one year of trying to understand why, my depression finally lifted. It also lifted because the seriousness of what I did made me more open to making changes in my life. I'm now a better wife and mother (at least a little bit better) and am not too proud to ask for help. I was not drinking when I made the attempt, but am now sort of afraid of drinking simply because I am truly committed to trying to keep the depression monster at bay.
I occassionally read how people are dealing with their mental health issues at psychcentral and now I understand that a lot of people have much greater struggles than I have ever faced. Because of my attempt, I have much greater empathy for what they are dealing with. I hope there are others who have made attempts who can realize that their life matters.