Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
I think maybe a bit of 'Chinese Whispers' happened here. I did not read those thoughts in your initial post but it wasn't particularly clear I don't think. Ate you worried that your mental health providers will hurt you? I genuinely don't believe that most set out to that to people but I appreciate that paranoia can cause us to believe that they are against us. Had there been any specific incidents?
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Yes, when I was inpatient they thereated me.
And when I was under 18 they didn't believe I was being abused by my parents and they usually just blamed me. Also, I have been missdiagnosed with a ton of different contradictory stuff without being truly evaluated.
My actual psychiatrist/therapist is good but I can't trust him because I am too afraid of the health system.
I left my parents at 18 and I entered the university. I am a good student, I work in summer, I am a volunteer at a dog shelter and Red Cross, I have adopted a ferret, hamster and bunny.... I don't hurt anyone or do anything wrong to society. But I have been treated like a "criminal" because I "left my parents and now I complain about being alone" or because "I must have done something because parents don't do that to their children without a reaason".
Also, a psychiatrist form ER told me I would have to be inpatient If my mood doesn't improve.
Plus, I doubt I would get bettter. I am a donut filled with trauma. I don't have family or friends, I can't stand being near or attached to people. Nobody would help me. My life was beeing hell until I could leave.
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Crazy, inside and aside
Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions
"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-