Nightdream,
Please do not feel bad about talking about this. I really think that the only way to help you move through this is by talking.
Guilt trips by parents are probably the most horrible things that anyone can say to you. You are doing what is right for you and that takes a tremendous amount of courage!!
Give yourself a hand for being able to move away from your mother even with her saying what she did.
We are here for you!!

Jessica