Ok, I read it all, I think you should consider a third alternative to:
1. Changing your personality to act like someone else who you seem to hate. You would not be true to yourself.
2. Thinking all of your value comes from how much attention you get from other people.
Here it is, what if you saved some money, and traveled - what if you went somewhere you really want to go, what if you started your own life in your own way separate from your family, and your sullen sulky watching your brother?
All of your focus is on it. No wonder you are having problems.
Try to imagine what it would be like to have your own life on your terms.
Your confidence would grow so much.
And before you give one of your whiny knee-jerk reactions, know this is not going to be replied to by me. I have no need to keep placating your bottomless pit of self pity.

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