my brother, whom I do not associate with and haven't for over 20 yrs is an arrogant b*rd. He was the one in the family with outgoing charisma, and to all that worshipped him, an unblemished personality. To them, he could do no wrong. He too was popular with almost everyone he met and had many friends, could have had many gfs if he wanted but chose his HS first gf to marry, have kids and go on with life. That's his good point, and he does have them. Although personality wise I really do not like him, I respect that he probably has some good points too.

With regards to being the introvert in the family the sensitive, emotional brother, it was hard growing up in his shadow. I understand how this affects you. Please don't misunderstand.

The idea to get away from this is a sound one. I know it may not be possible but the more you are near your brother and interacting with and around him, the more this shadow is going to feel overbearing and it does, indeed, make you question who you are, what's wrong with you, etc. Getting away, making your own way is the toughest and most amazing thing you can do for yourself. I know. I did that about 20 yrs ago. Not just my brother but family that set my role to one I did not want to be in.