Hello all,

First post! First request for some words/support/pointers for assistance?

I work for a British Labour Member of Parliament (MP). I have, for some reason, been very traumatised and distressed by the murder of the MP Jo Cox which happened last week.

(This story has been in the international media over the last week but in case you are not aware of it, do a Google search.)

I have been experiencing problems eating, sleeping and concentrating on work and have been signed off work for one week for stress and prescribed sleeping pills and an increased dosage to the antidepressants I have been taking as a result.

I don’t know where all this upset/anxiety/distress/trauma has come from. I guess that there are possible several reasons, and I hope you do not mind me outlining them below:

- As mentioned, I work for a Labour MP. I organise meetings and appointments with constituents, and attend them with the MP. Some have, in the past, been slightly aggressive to me/the MP. So I can ‘step into the shoes’ of those who were present during the murder (which took place whilst Jo was walking to the meeting with constituents with an assistance who witnessed the murder);

- The graphic details of Jo’s death relayed on media from eyewitness accounts. As the details were so vivid, I was able to play them out in my mind. I felt sick again today accidentally reading the BBC report into the coroner’s report;

- Genuine upset for the murder of an individual who shared my values, of the same political party as I, someone who worked very hard for noble causes. Cried on at least four occasions since last Thursday. Shock and disbelief that such a savage and brutal attack could take place on someone so beautiful, caring and kind whilst carrying out a public service;

- Other secondary connections/links with my experience - my mother died when I was eight years old, and her death was very sudden. I never got a chance to say goodbye (like her boys), and I was the first in my family to go to Cambridge (or any other university for that matter). Like Jo, I was a working-class kid made good, and found it hard to integrate myself into Cambridge life. Made me think back to difficult times in my life, causing anxiety and stress (probably a minor issue);

- Feelings of anger/hatred towards the person who committed the crime (particularly after his statements about 'death to traitors'), with all the likelihood that the offence was a political assassination. I have caught myself unthinkingly directing this anger on some people who were annoying me by snapping at them and being irritable;

- Feelings of embarrassment that I feel so strongly about this event when I have no personal connection to Jo, or her family. (I have come across some comments on social media about 'mourning sickness', 'grief porn' etc, which has made me reticent to discuss my feelings with others, therefore 'bottling things up';

I have been on antidepressants for seven years, have previously had CBT and experience social anxiety so my mental health can be quite fragile when faced with these kinds of events.

As well as trying to get over my distress, I guess I am after some help to make some sense of my thoughts and try to process them, as well as to assist with mitigating and/or avoiding this level of distress again in the future.

Thanks for reading.

Wandering Bear