SoccerGuy (((hugs))) how i empathize with you! we buried my dad in 2012, we buried my mom in 2016. I was seperated 2015 and now divorced last month. My life has been a roller coaster of emotions, and it has been difficult.
The only thing my friend i can tell you is to pray. You need faith, talk to your Creator from the heart, ask for his strength, ask for his guidance and wisdom in how to do the right thing. And go to a counselor for yourself. Yesterday i cried from the roots of my soul missing my spouse, i was becoming despondent. I went to my neighbors for a hug. People just don't understand or they say "get over it". A spouse is not an it, they are a human we loved or still love. The human heart takes time to heal and for each it is different. I recommend the forum links for divorce where people who are separated post and it will be an eye opener and beneficial for you as well. I pray that God gives you the strength to not give up... hang in there... life is not fair, never has been but we can react to everything or we can live through everything, there is a difference...