There isn't a lack of despair in the world and there is no shortage of people with bad lives. Some people may have never had much of a good experience in life, but that doesn't necessary make them have depression.

When people that have depression think about it and explain what it feels like, its more than just sadness. This is the predominant feeling for most or others feel empty and cant feel anything. There is a list of other stuff that comes along for the ride for most. One of the hallmarks is lost interest in activities onced enjoyed; movies, dates, friends, sex etc. Then the frustration of knowing you like those things and feeling absolutely no enjoyment from them. It makes me feel broken and I just force myself to do stuff I enjoy in hopes I will feel good doing it some of the time. Then there is the guilt. It comes from no where and for no reason. I haven't done anything in my life to hurt anyone, but yet I feel like a terrible person or most commonly worthless. Without meds I find it very hard to concentrate. I mean with meds recently it is hard to focus because I seem to be having obsessive thoughts of suicidal ideation. Without the meds I get all the physical stuff too.

Then you get the physical stuff. Some people can't sleep (maybe curling up in a ball and crying for hours) or in my case I don't want to wake up. If I could I would sleep a lot; 12-14 hours maybe more if I get low enough. Family and work keep me from giving into that escape. Then you have the fatigue. Like carrying around a lead sweater and a book bag full of books. Everything feels heavy and takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I think I even think slower and move slower.

I wouldn't advise people to watch videos of people being murdered. I think a lot of depressed people, including myself are sensitive to death. I think about it a lot, I don't want to just thoughts racing through my head. Trying to cook dinner for my son and think about the knife in the block, or driving home and just wanting to veer off into a pole or something. Myself I don't want that visual in my head.

There may be people in this world on anti-depressants that don't need them. Some people that need them but just self medicate with drugs or booze to fill the despair and emptiness. People have different experiences and from my experience the antidepressents don't make you happy. They just make the constant dread, physical symptoms and sometimes the suicidal ideation reduced. I don't think of it as living in lala land but trying to reclaim some amount of me back, and not just be my illness.

I probably do live in lala land. I don't watch the news, I don't think about all the bad things in the world. I just can't deal with that and deal with my mental illness. My goal is to get through the day. Make sure my family has a house and food. Try to be there for my wife and try to work the best I can. If I can make it through the day then I have succeeded.

I think for all of the bad in the world there is a proportionate amount of good in the world. People donate food and the homeless have shelters in a lot of cities. Even if they don't have a house or means to survive people in most places can have food and not starve to death. Doctors go to africa to help the less fortunate. Medicines get dontated to some countries that don't have the means to buy or create them. Its the small stuff that means a lot to the individual that rarely gets shared.

I think some of the stigma comes from people confusing feeling depressed with depression. Bad stuff happens, loved ones die and feeling depressed after a loss or trauma is normal. Feeling this way for years with little reason is depression. Having situational sadness and calling it depression is like going to the olive garden and calling it Italy.