OP - I kind of get that. In a mixed state I find that I invite extra work, unnecessary and detrimental to mental health, but necessary in that it holds off the depression in a sick sort of way.

I don't know your financial situation, but it is extremely important to cut out as much stress as you can. Try the one file thing. Or, if you're more comfortable in chaos, keep it crazy but be in control of the crazy. I understand that mindset (I think), and I hope you work through it. Sounds like medications can help.