Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
Anyways, the point of this thread was to ask how I can make myself more attractive. The main thing standing in my way is actually the slow processing speed and resulting "ditziness", not introversion. I actually think the reason I tend to be quiet is not because I am naturally introverted, but because whenever I put myself out there I end up looking stupid. But could being an outgoing "ditzy" guy actually be more attractive to women than a quiet guy? Or should I work on not being ditzy before trying to be more outgoing?
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Okay here goes, please do not take offence at this, I mean it well.
What comes across to me in your posts is you are deeply unhappy with yourself. People of either sex are not usually attracted as partners to people who are deeply unhappy with themselves. Being comfortable in your own skin is something which attracts people of both genders, both as friends or partners/lovers.
Your brother sounds as if he is happy in his own skin and this positive vibe is attracting people.
I honestly don't think seeking a lover/partner should be a priority for you now, I do not believe it would make you happier, it may even make you feel more vulnerable/insecure (you may worry another guy will have more to offer).
I think working on your self-acceptance should be a priority, and the source of your unhappiness. You sound like you have a lot of tender wounds which get triggered quite easily. Understanding the process of this may help you tackle unhelpful thought patterns.