Sweetie, you don't want it. You really do not. I'm not judging you and I understand where you are coming from.

But the reality of it is not something anyone would want. I haven't even recovered. I basically have been struggling with it for so long that I generally can pull myself together in time. To not blackout. To not have size zeros falling off me. I know how to stay alive but that's it.

And I still feel fat. It's no good.

Instead, try to get into good shape physical fitness wise. You'll look and feel awesome. Be well.

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