Quote:
Originally Posted by SpasticBliss
85% of the time I think, focus on them and their words or you could miss something very wise. I will pay close attention, then I interrupt with a story about myself. But that's always been my favorite back-and-forth, give me some wisdom, I relate it to me, then you talk about you, and me about me and how we relate, just informing each other about each other.
But people take my talking about myself as self-absorption maybe? I'm dying to hear their stories, but there is the problem: sometimes I can't stop talking long enough to hear their story. This is going to take a conscious effort and some work to even get certain people to talk to me again!
I can't say, oh, I've screwed it all up, it's too late to change. I just have to move forward. I can't regret everything I've said to everyone in the past, why did I push them away, why didn't I shut up long enough for them to respond. ugh. it sucks, but moving forward! Thanks everyone.
I always appreciate more input!
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When people tell you about themselves, they want to feel heard. They want you to stay on talking about them until they feel understood and validated. I personally HATE it when people keep taking what I say and telling me about themselves instead. Yes, I feel that they are just self-centered and don't care about me at all.
You have a great understanding of what you are doing that puts people off. I think if you just try to control your actions better, you'll be ok.
Even with the people you have scared off, you can repair those relationships. People are very forgiving if you change.