Hi, that's awesome...your H doesn't drink and no alcohol in the house. That is HUGE.

Next, tell him NOT to enable you in the event you are craving and ask him to go buy alcohol. Also, tell him you need love and emotional support while you do this....I hope you are not getting lectured every day with ultimatums of him leaving. You need support and no enabling. I think ultimatums are bad in general - encourage him to support you, not threaten you.

I looked at your profile and I see you also have bipolar disorder. That may factor into why this is so hard for you. Us bipolar folks are notorious for self-medicating or going manic where all rules go by the wayside. Are you in treatment for your bipolar disorder? How's your mood state. Bipolar 1 or 2?

I'm not trying to give you the third degree, just help. The bipolar forum is great - stop by if you want. Some people are not on meds, a lot are, some people are drinking, most aren't. Everyone is nice and it's always active. Never a dull moment and I guarantee you there's nothing that you can tell us that will shock us where we would ever judge you - we have been there, done that, got the tshirt. Ugh lol. And we post about it all, too. Come on over with a nonalcoholic drink sometime. We will support your endeavor to get sober over there, too.

I hope you don't mind the levity. I have faith in you, you can do this.