Quote:
Originally Posted by SpasticBliss
That's the hard part to admit is that most people don't really get into the same conversation format I'm into? Like, I'll talk about myself, then I want them to tell me how they relate to it. I just need to rethink the way most people want a conversation to go down. Another example is, I hate compliments. I'll generally not say thank you, but instead I'll point out a flaw. That's probably rude as **** isn't it?
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Not sure it's as terrible as all
that, but take the compliment. Without contradiction. I can be uncomfortable with apologies too, but it's a reflection of our own self-esteem, isn't it?
On the other...
That format doesn't bother me (is that so odd??). It does come with some caveats though. #1 in all situations would definitely be to watch the
balance.
Some others that come to mind... If they are talking about a problem, try to keep it well-skewed towards them -- both in quantity and in making sure "your stuff" is actually relevant, not too rambling, and motivated only by letting them know they're not alone. And don't jump in too soon! Let them really get it out. You don't want them feeling un-heard or (yikes) cut off. If it is more of a vent, just let them do it, and let them know they've been heard.
So maybe the format doesn't need to be ditched altogether. I get why you like it -- the building, the back and forth, getting to know each other better etc.. It'd be good to observe their reaction though. If they're someone who doesn't like that format, don't use it.
I guess the thing is that listening is good, no doubt about that. But I've had a number of relationships where the problem becomes that it is all about
them. All the time. That's not good either.
Maybe that's way off-base, but that's how I see it.
Good luck!