Hello musicismyescape07: I'm sorry you are struggling with this. It does seem like these sorts of things have a way of becoming gradually more involved. I know, in my own case, I've come to a point in my life where I am almost entirely solitary, by choice. I'm married. But otherwise I have no contact with anyone, in real life. It wasn't always that way. But, over the years, it is simply how I have "evolved", so to speak. The good thing is, in my case, I'm an older person. So it's easier. I don't have any suggestions to offer you here. I simply wanted to share my experience. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find a way to stop the "warring" within & find deep peace...