Ceara,I am sorry you have had no luck with getting your dad to see the truth.

Nightmares are awful aren't they,they hit at the heart of your furnace and put out the flames,you need to sleep and rest and the mind and body is renewed during sleep but nightmares make rest impossible.

I dreamt last night my late father was asking how I was and was working in France selling French newspapers at a kiosk.And I need a new carpet so my sister bought me a large yellow rug with roses on it,can't understand what it means.The other night I dreamt there were maggots on my carpet and my dad was sweeping them away and stopping them eating up my carpet I think that one means I'd managed to stop my own death and putting myself in a grave to be eaten by maggots and dad by sweeping the maggots away was saying he was glad he had managed to show me what my mother and sister were up to and thus prevent my death.

Texas sounds good.We get help here from the gov when ill,I get enough to live on from them though we are getting a new right wing government so that may change it is a worry!

I am having second thoughts about letting my friend back in, mainly because I know for sure she was being sarcastic and after what I went through that was so cruel and uncaring.Secondly, she never contacts me first,I always contact her usually to offer her a free cinema ticket for us to see a film together. Inbetween getting herself a free cinema ticket she doesn't bother with me,never texts to see if I am ok or need support,I really do think if I didn't text her first I'd never see her again.Also I told her what you said about her not being sarcastic was ******** and that I was angry with her for lying like that.,....and she didn't reply to my last text,just ignored it cos it didn't suit her to listen to me....so really I am reluctant to get back in touch with her.If she is a nasty person underneath it all I don't want to keep in touch with her just so I won't be isolated,that is wrong.
Can I ask how do you spend your time during the days, do you find you have a lot of time to fill and get lonely not having regular conversations,cos in-between seeing my niece and having the gardener and handyman in,I see no one?