I did not see that thread unfortunately, would have been very interested. I'm not a therapist either but I think this issue is far too complex and individual to jump to universal conclusions. I don't think that there is any way to avoid the transference from developing if the client's psyche is inclined that way, and while ignoring it from the T is most likely generally not a constructive strategy, some forms of therapy are just not designed to work with it (and those T's may not have the skill to work with it). What to do in those situations? Ideally, it may be best for the client and T to decide together whether it's best to end the work and refer the client to someone else or continue. But I think many of us, when we enter therapy, are not in a state of mind that can appropriately judge these questions.

Also, I really believe that for some patients experiencing the erotic transference and the T not trying to eliminate it but integrating into the work and even encouraging the feelings in indirect ways to serve a therapeutic goal can be very productive. It all depends on the individual's personality and history. I am saying this because I am just going through an experience like this and it works great to help slowly resolve issues that I have been struggling with for many years (not getting into it here). Working this way does require a great deal of discipline and self-awareness though on both ends, to keep on track. Also a certain level of being able to handle emotional stress. So if my T tried to nip my transference or treated it as something undesirable, we would not be able to do this productive work. But it's true that one has to be familiar with the concept of transference and accept it as such, to be able to work with it this way. It would most likely be pretty distressing and harmful if I thought about the feelings as "being in love" and was trying to act out that way or even just had intense longing to act on it that way.

The question whether it's best if the T talks to the client about the possibility of developing strong feelings at start... I don't know. I would say the same as above, that it perhaps depends on the client's individual case. And this is not that easy to accurately judge at the beginning of therapy I guess. For example, I can imagine that some people might see a T warning them about the feelings as self centered and narcissistic even if the intention is not that way. I tend to think it may be better to let the process develop freely and deal with the transference as it arises. Of course when a client is reluctant to talk about these feelings and/or the T is incompetent at handling the situation, that will create suffering and another type of challenge.

Also, I think that how therapists are able to manage transference also depends on the individual case, including their own reactions to a specific patient. I have no intention to defend unethical or ignorant T's but unless the harm is clear and persistent, I think it's much easier to criticize a T's behavior than doing it the "right way" at all times.