Well, I do get angry at people, but not this angry. Also, there is no way I can express this anger to him. I may be able to tell him I've felt angry, but the actual rage can't come out. I want to buy a punching bag and have at it. I really do feel like a toddler melting down. (Side note: I wonder if on some level I am stuck at that age since that's how old I was when my father abandoned me and my mother, taking my two older brothers with him and moving across the country... leaving us in poverty, on food stamps, in a not-great housing complex... Growing up I saw my father and brother once a year for a few weeks. My dad was excellent at ignoring me, and still is. That's why the transference with T is so strong.)