Dear Lapis,

What I see is a strong person in you, that survived a terrible trauma. Most people would have fallen, but you are stronger then most in this world.

In the given situation, it seems you held back discussing these issues for reasons you explained. I hope you don't have any guilt, blame, or feel cheated under the circumstances.

If you do go into therapy, you do not have to let anyone else know (that is family, friends, etc.) that you are seeing a therapist.

If you are afraid of confiding in a therapist, you could ask Dr. John to explain what the rules of confidentiality are between a doctor and a client.

If nothing else it would help to know that whatever you were in involved in is not what caused the situation to happen. Therapy could shed the light on what type of man would be capable of doing such terrible things. They are the kind of individuals, who would have turned on anyone near them. Just having done a few drugs, does not make you the guilty one.

Wish you the best in whatever choice you make for yourself...colors